{"id":6949,"date":"2018-08-22T20:33:53","date_gmt":"2018-08-22T20:33:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/internationalschoolcommunity.com\/blog\/?p=6949"},"modified":"2018-08-23T14:55:06","modified_gmt":"2018-08-23T14:55:06","slug":"a-seemingly-simple-question-where-are-you-from","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/internationalschoolcommunity.com\/blog\/a-seemingly-simple-question-where-are-you-from\/","title":{"rendered":"A Seemingly Simple Question: Where are you From?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Living abroad for over 25 years has been an exciting and fulfilling experience marked by the many rewarding opportunities to meet new people. When we meet new people, our natural curiosity takes over and we quickly begin to ask questions. \u00a0The answers help us find commonalities and develop bonds, which make us feel connected. One question I have always struggled to answer is the one I hear most often: where are you from? This seemingly simple question is packed with many expectations and assumptions. I never know which answer I should provide. Several questions of my own flash through my head in the seconds before I answer; Should I answer with my country of birth, my passport, my ethnicity? For me, and many others today, the answer is no longer singular.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"question\"<\/p>\n

Often times we are expected to provide a standard answer to a question that is no longer standard. In the recent era of multicultural and multilingual families, these answers are not as simple anymore. As a Asian-American expat living abroad, whenever I get asked this question, I find myself having an inner dialogue. \u00a0Do I give this person the expected answer that falls in line with their expectations based on my Asian appearance, or do I give a different answer that I know will lead to the next question; yes, but where were you born? Or where are your parents from? Recognizing that people have good intentions and are genuinely curious, I most commonly share this response; I was raised in the States, but my parents are from South Korea. <\/span><\/p>\n

This complexity manifests in schools as well. \u00a0I remember walking into a classroom one day; the children were sitting in front of a world map and the teacher asked each child to place a pin on the map to answer the question \u2018where are you from?\u2019 One child asked the teacher for two additional pins. When the teacher asked why, the child explained he needed a pin for each country his family represented. His father was Swiss-Canadian, and his mother was German. To my delight, rather than making the child choose, the surprised teacher simply gave the child additional pins. This story demonstrates that we often expect a single answer to a single question. \u00a0Whether we identify as a global nomad, third cultural\/cross cultural citizen, multiplicity in our identities in now the new norm, and our questions and conversations should begin to reflect this.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"question\"<\/p>\n

One day, as I was sharing my frustration at being asked this general question, my friend asked me, \u00a0\u2018What would you ask instead?\u2019 After thinking about it, I responded that it depended on what I really wanted to know about that person. \u00a0I have found that an additional moment of consideration when choosing which question I pose has often led to more sincere and meaningful interactions. \u00a0Examples of questions I now ask include: <\/span><\/p>\n